Be the Positive!

I can't believe that it has actually been a month since I posted my last blog entry!  What a month it has been. Anne turned four and she got to meet Thomas the Tank Engine.  Mommy has had some ups and downs which I will talk about in another entry at some point and Anne got her tonsils and adenoids out.  It has been a busy month for this Mama.  Everyone is doing pretty well though.  We have had some good family time together, and Anne is healing nicely.

Anne meets Thomas in the most exciting and magical day of her young life!

I actually started writing another entry the other day, and then I was able to have a conversation with a dear and cherished friend.  I have not spoken to this friend in a really long time because she has been going through some horrific trials in her life....stuff that no one should have to ever endure.  After that conversation she was all that I could think about.  Life is hard.  We are all given burdens to carry, trials to overcome.  I think about people in my life dealing with infertility, parenting difficult teens, dealing with illness, extreme financial hardship, coping with grief.  Then there is the whole battery of emotions that come along with whatever difficulties we are facing.  Sometimes I feel guilty for feeling what I am feeling, knowing that someone I love is in a situation far worse than mine.

What can we do?

First and foremost, we have to accept where we are.  I have learned that I cannot care for other people if I don't care for myself.   I can't feel guilty about what I am feeling because someone else has it worse than I do.  I do the best I can to make sure I have time to rest, deal with my emotions, and to give myself time and space to breathe. 

Next, reach out to the people in your life that are struggling.  Sometimes all you can do is offer words of support, encouragement and love.  That might not feel like enough, but in actuality, is the most powerful thing you can do.

Life is like the internet, full of trolls.  There is so much negativity out there.  I can't believe the comments I read on different articles and blogs out there.  I cannot believe how cruel people are.  Especially because the internet offers such anonymity, people think that they can say whatever they want.  I don't know if people forget that someone is going to read their cruel words and be cut down, or if they just don't care.  Sometimes I fear that people go out there actually intending to hurt others.

In a world of such negativity, we Mamas have to BE THE POSITIVE.  We have to teach our children to love and respect others.  We have to teach them not to be judgmental.  We have to teach them courageous and loving responses for when they are hurt by others.

Mamas, we cannot teach our children to be positive if we are not positive ourselves.  We Mamas are all in this together.  We must reach out to the struggling and hurting Mamas around us and offer loving support and encouragement.  We need to help those Mamas to care for themselves, and let them know that on the hard days they always have someone to turn to.  We Mamas must never let another Mama feel like they are in it alone. 


To my dear, dear, cherished friend (and all those other hurting Mamas out there),

You are so loved by God, by your friends and by your family.  I know that times are hard right now and the odds feel so stacked against you.  But you have NO IDEA how strong and brave you are.  I cannot believe what you have overcome already, those battles that you have fought and won.  You have dealt with things that most of us can't even imagine,  but you have dealt with them.  You are making a beautiful life for yourself and your family.  Your kids are growing up with the most incredible role model possible.  I am so in awe of the Mama that they have and how LUCKY they are to have you for a Mama.  But my dear friend, don't let all that has happened stay trapped within your spirit.  Face it all, then let it go.  When we were in college, didn't we write down a bunch of boys names and burn them or something, as a way of letting it all go?  I really think that I remember doing that.  Pour out all of the burdens that you are carrying.  Cry, talk to loved ones, WRITE, let it go and heal your soul.  You have nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to feel guilty for.  I have heard many stories in my life, and I have known many people who have gone through difficult times, but out of the people that I actually, really know, you are the strongest and bravest among them.  Even if you don't feel that way you are the strongest and bravest woman that I have ever known.  I am so in awe of you, and so blessed to have you in my life.   I am so proud of you strong and beautiful Mama.  Carry on, brave and true and this will pass.  Your life WILL be yours again.  I will always be here for you whenever you need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to talk to.  I love you and your gorgeous kiddos.  HUGS!

Love,
Me