That Which I Once Loved....

 I love chocolate in most forms.  Chocolate plain, chocolate with caramel, chocolate with mint....and for a very long, long time I loved chocolate with Peanut Butter.  I was never a huge plain peanut butter or nut eater, but I LOVED chocolate with Peanut Butter.  In my single years, it was a lovely companion after a hard day....in my married years it continued to be an enjoyable treat.  I often ate too much of it, especially since it was one of my husband's favorite gifts to give me.  Aaahhhh, chocolate with peanut butter....Yes, I once loved it.  Then this happened:

A few weeks before my beautiful daughter, Anne turned two, I gave her a piece of peanut butter toast for breakfast.  I left the room momentarily and heard her crying and saying that her eyes were wet.  When I came back to check on her this is what I found.  I instantly knew that my child was allergic to peanuts, but I could not even begin to understand what that meant.  I yelled for my husband and sent him running out to the store to get Benadryl.  It was a Sunday morning, and he was gone for 45 minutes.   In his panic he forgot his phone when he left and then forgot what he was supposed to get.  He called me from a Target employee's cell phone because the pharmacy was not open yet.  I remained calm and watched Anne like a hawk, something told me that she was going to be okay, this time.  Her breathing was never compromised.  I called the pediatrician, just to be sure that I was doing everything I needed to be doing.  He told me to give her Benadryl around the clock for the next three days and to go to the emergency room immediately if she showed any signs of breathing difficulties.  If I had known then, what I know now, I would have gone to the emergency room right away!  If the above ever happens to your child, Call 911-Food Allergies are not to be taken lightly.  I Thank God every day that Anne was okay when she had this reaction.  I have learned so much since then.

Our pediatrician is wonderful and my children absolutely love him, but I feel he is a bit old school in the allergy department.  He is great about everything else, which is why I decided to keep him as our pediatrician.  We saw him not long after Anne's reaction and he told us to wait until she was three to be tested for a peanut allergy.  He told us that the tests are more accurate after Age 3.  In the meantime he told us to not give Anne peanuts or peanut butter.  If I had known then, what I know now, I would have pushed for an immediate allergist referral, and I would have spent the next year being much more careful about what I fed my child.

So for a year we kept peanuts and peanut butter in the house, and I still ate my chocolate with peanut butter.  We NEVER let her eat anything with peanuts in it, but we let her eat things processed in facilities that processed peanuts or processed on shared equipment with peanuts.  We never called companies to ask about their labeling policies or if their foods were safe.  I don't think that I really understood that my child could have an Anaphylactic Reaction.  I didn't really understand that the simple ingestion of a food could kill my child!

At Anne's 3 year checkup I asked for a referral to the allergist to have a skin test done.  I remember clearly that he said "Well, you could do that, or you could just try to give her a little bit of peanut butter."  Now, I knew that was a BAD idea, and the look on my face must have told the pediatrician so.  He gave us a referral to the allergist.

We LOVE our allergist.  He is absolutely wonderful and he knows what he is doing.  I learned so much at Anne's first visit.  Her skin test gave us an instant positive result for a peanut allergy, even though the solution was diluted 10 times.  It was a little scary to see the welt form on her back so fast and so big.  I was starting to get it.  Everything started to sink in when we sat and talked to the allergist after the skin test.  I learned how lucky we were to have survived our year of ignorance without Anne having a reaction.  We were told to avoid all nuts even though she only tested positive for peanuts because of a high risk of cross contamination and a high risk of her developing a sudden allergy to another nut.  We were told to make our house a nut free zone so she could have one place where she is always safe and we don't have to worry.  We learned how to read labels and were told to avoid all products that might contain peanuts or that were processed in facilities or on shared equipment with peanuts.  We learned about Anaphylaxis.  We got a prescription for Epi-Pens and were taught how to use one.  We were told to always call 911 if she had a reaction, to never drive her to the hospital ourselves.  The reason, the Paramedics have more Epinephrine if she needs it.   It was probably one of the most overwhelming hours of my life, that appointment with the allergist.   Then we went home and did this:

 

I made an emergency kit containing her Epi-Pens, and single does Benadryls and the Epi-Pen sample pen to teach other people how to use it, plus directions how to use it and some safe snacks for Anne in case we are in a situation where there is nothing she can eat.   And then we did this:

We bought her a Medical Alert Bracelet to wear when she is not with us.  And I spent the next year learning and learning and learning.  I learn more every day, about what foods are safe, about what Anaphylactic reactions look like, about how to treat one.  I also have learned about what other families have gone through, including ones who have lost their children.

And Anne has learned how to manage her allergies.  She has learned that she can never eat any foods unless she asks Mommy or Daddy, or the designated adult say it is safe.  She is even learning to tell people about her allergy herself.  The other day we went out to dinner and she told the Server that she had a peanut allergy before we even had a chance to, I was so proud of her.

It is really hard to have a child with a life threatening food allergy.  You have to plan every detail of every outing that includes food.  You have to call the Birthday Party Mom ahead of time to find out what is being served and discuss whether it is safe or not.  You have to worry about your child being away from you, and make sure that everyone who cares for her knows about the allergy and how to treat a reaction.  You are terrified that she will have a reaction some day, and even more terrified that she will have a reaction when you aren't with her.  We have been assured by our allergist that her next reaction will be an Anaphylactic one.  That is terrifying.  I have heard stories of other people's children that have died from reactions.  I have heard stories of children who have had reactions because their parents have consumed peanuts and the children have reacted to the residue.  We don't eat peanuts or peanut butter.  I have given up that which I once loved because....

I LOVE HER MORE!!!

There has been a serious increase in food allergies in this country in the last decade or so.  It is alarming and terrifying.  We should not have to worry about children dying from food that they eat.  My family and I will be walking for "Team Anne" on September 21st for FARE Walk for Food Allergies.  We are raising money to for research and education, to keep allergic kids safe and to help find a cure.  I can't imagine a cause closer to my heart.  My prayer is that some day Anne won't have to worry about what she eats.  I pray that I don't have to explain to her what her allergy really means.  Right now, she is only four, so we tell her that she can't eat things because they aren't "safe" and they will make her sick.  We show her the picture from when she had the reaction.  I have yet to explain to her how serious it is, and that a reaction could actually kill her.  How do you explain that to your child?

Below is the link to the Team Anne Page for fundraising for the FARE walk:
http://www.foodallergywalk.org/albany/teamanne

Please consider making a donation for Anne and all the kids and adults like her so we can make the world a safer place for them.  If everyone gave just $5 it would really add up!  I thank you from the bottom of my heart.