And Then Come the Weeds....

If life did not have struggles, then what reason would we have to love, to find what is good in our lives and hold on to it?  I will take the struggles that life offers for they give me the reason, and the strength to love with all I have.

For years we have battled with improvements that have needed to be done in our house and in our yard.  Little by little things have been getting done.  Our yard is overcome with weeds, and last summer and early this spring I have basically defeated the weeds in one part of the yard.  This spring the kids and I decided to weed along the back fence and make a Fairy Garden.  We have had a lot of fun painting wooden birdhouses and making a lake and a road for the fairies.  This picture above is part of the finished project.  Then THIS happened.

YUP!  The weeds came back and totally overcame then entire beautification project I had invested so much into, and that the kids were so excited about.

I have decided that the Fairy Garden is a metaphor for my life.  Just when things get going....the weeds come.  I am forever weeding the garden of my life.  BUT aren't we all?  I have come to a point in my life where I am able to see just how important life's struggles are in shaping the people that we become.  I won't reiterate all of the major struggles with my life, just that I don't regret them.  A life without challenges would be just that.  We wouldn't have the chance to change, to grow, to seek, to hope, we would just be.

I haven't been writing as much as I would like to....I keep falling into these ruts, keep wanting to change, keep wanting to move forward, keep struggling.  But I am growing.

Speaking of GROWING, since I last wrote I know have a KINDERGARTENER:

My precious girl finished her two years at her absolutely wonderful pre-school.  BUT I do still have a pre-schooler....my little guy will start at this pre-school in the fall.  Some days I am ready for this, some days I wish I could snatch him up in my arms and snuggle my baby forever.....

I also now have a FIVE YEAR OLD!  That's half a decade people....big stuff:

And while I have been helping my daughter move forward, I have also been trying to move forward myself and survive summer.  Summer is a season that most look forward to, but I have to say, over the years has become quite a challenge for my little family.  My husband works a lot to begin with, but during the summer his work is at his peak.  He works pretty much all the time and is exhausted when he is home.  I worry about him, and the kids and I miss him.  He is very present when he is home, but it is hard for all of us.  And for me, it can be isolating and frustrating and exhausting.  When these darlings are in challenge mode it can make days very hard.   I try to plan play dates and activities.  When I am out of the house I do well.  When I am home I am more prone to frustration and that trapped feeling, and that makes me not want to go out and do anything at all.  It is just an endless cycle...like the weeds growing in and taking over.

Then there is the medication thing.  I am pleased to say that I had another Doctor's appointment in early June and I am FINALLY back on the Cymbalta, which is the medication that has worked well for me in the past but I had to give up for a variety of reasons.  Circumstances have finally made it possible for me to take it again.  The past couple of weeks have been somewhat challenging with the weather, and the husband's work schedule, and the weaning off of the old meds and building up the new med.  That can really mess with a person, especially if you throw a period in the mix. 

Things are finally looking up.  I am finally starting to feel a bit better.  And it looks like I have a wonderful opportunity coming up to recharge and find my bliss.  And I weeded out that Fairy Garden..

I picked up every weed, every house that we painted, every rock that I painstakingly laid out to make my roads, every blue pebble that made up my lake....All of it.  Now my Fairy Garden is a blank slate.
I started mulching it the other day.

Then it got really ridiculously hot for a couple of days followed by some serious rainstorms, so I had to put the mulching on hold for a bit.  BUT, the point is, I started over, pretty much from scratch.  I bought a ton of new birdhouses to paint with the kids.  The Fairy Garden will come back more beautiful and more interesting than we ever could have imagined in the beginning, because it is through our struggles that beauty grows.