Refreshed and Moving Forward

So, I am back from a weekend away, after a LONG month of sleep deprivation for various reasons, sick kids, hormones, etc...and guess what...now I am only tired...not exhausted!  What a step up!  It was strange initially to have one night at home kidless, and then one night AWAY with my good friend.  I actually have now gotten about four nights in a row of decent sleep.  I don't feel like I need to crash on the couch every afternoon, which has a great effect on my motivation level.

So, I am a little sad that my house is now catless, but I am really happy that I found good homes for both my kitties.  For those of you that don't know, my three year old is allergic to cats and we have been having issues for over a year, including asthma attacks, until we found out that she was allergic to cats.  Therefore, unfortunately, my two cats had to go.  I have had them for over a decade so it was difficult for me to say good-bye.  My 17 year old cat Fuzzy has been with my sister's family for over three weeks now, and he is flourishing in the royal treatment he is receiving.  He is a happy guy!  My other cat has only been in her new home for a few days.  I traveled from New York to Maryland over the weekend to meet my good friend who lives in North Carolina.  She took my Padme home with her.  Padme seems to be doing fine, just needs a little more time to adjust.  I think she will be super happy in that home full of kitty lovers.  I spent Monday thoroughly cleaning the formerly cat occupied areas of my house.  I am hoping to see an improvement in my daughter soon.  She has a runny nose getting over a cold right now, so it is a little hard to tell, but this cold has not caused an asthma attack so I guess we are making some progress.

The last six weeks or so have been extra stressful, so I am really happy with my PPD recovery progress.  Despite the stress and sleep deprivation, and the loss of my cats my mood has been fairly even.  I feel that the emotions I have been feeling have been very appropriate for the situations I have been dealing with.  My depression feels well under control at this point in time, and that is a good feeling.  I am preparing myself to continue to move forward and take complete control of this on my own.  My therapist will be leaving in August, so I am working on setting goals to accomplish before then, and creating a plan for continuing on after my therapy is complete.

One major issue of struggle for me has been dealing with my daughter's behavior in a patient and compassionate manner.  She is very spirited and strong willed, and as I like to say, very determined to chart her own course in life.  I have been trying to find a way to let her do this, while still teaching her to be respectful and compassionate.  In the difficult moments I try to remind myself of the woman that I want her to be.  I want her to be strong, and able to stand up for herself, but I also want her to be kind and loving to others.  I don't want her to be taken advantage of, but I don't want her to take advantage of others.  She does display outright defiance most days though, and this behavior is now bleeding over into school.  With some help from my husband and therapist I have created a new behavior chart for her where we can help her to see the consequences of her negative behaviors, while also praising her for her positive behaviors.  Because she is only three we are using happy and sad faces on her chart.  If there are more happy than sad faces for the day or the week she will get special "surprise" rewards.  I am feeling very good about this, and very refreshed and ready to move forward with more positive changes in my life.